On Thursdays, I will be doing a series on thoughts. There are a handful of different cognitive distortions. These are thoughts that are typically automatic in nature but are generally unhelpful, unproductive, and bring on negative emotions. So each week, we are going to have a battle in our minds and practice challenging these automatic negative thoughts (ANTS).
Changing our thoughts to "just be happy" is not that simple. Our extensive, complicated history influences our ability to form thoughts about new situations. Each event and experience creates a neural connection. As neural connections are formed, our brains become intricately wired. To re-rewire our brains is like untangling a mess of necklaces. But with practice, we might begin to be more mindful of our go-to thoughts. Then we might be able to recognize how helpful or hurtful they might actually be. And we can untangle the web, one knot at a time.
This, in short, is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy.
Event occurs
⬊
thought is formed around the event
⬋
feeling is formed
⬊
action is ignited
So for different people, different reactions can occur to the same event. Here is an example.
Event occurs: You are walking down the sidewalk alongside a body of water. A young teenager rides past on his bike hollering, "YOLO".
Even just reading this, what is your initial thought??
Here are some examples of the variety of things people might think. These are just examples. Don't read too much into it.
Thought 1: "You only live once" He's right! I should live my life to the fullest and experience everything! I should not live in fear!
Thought 2: "YOLO". I don't know what that boy is saying. Kids these days need to speak in full sentences.
Thought 3: "You only live once". He's right! I should make sure I live a long life and avoid anything unsafe.
Based on these thoughts, your body reacts with a physical response and an emotional feeling.
Feeling1:Heart begins racing. Inspired, Exhilarated, Freed
Feeling 2: dull ache in your forehead. Annoyed, Irritated
Feeling 3: Heart begins racing. Pit in the stomach. Worried, Anxious, Dreadful, Fearful
And based on our thoughts and feelings, we respond to ambiguous events.
Action 1: Take off clothes. Jump in lake.
Action 2: Yell back to the teenager, "Go read a book!"
Action 3: Put on a helmet and knee pads just in case you trip over a stick.
Here is a summary!
Event > thought > feeling> action
"YOLO” I should not live in fear! Exhilarated. Go skinny dipping.
"YOLO” I don't like when I don't understand things.Annoyed. Yell back.
"YOLO" I should do everything I can to live as long as possible. Fear. Wear protective gear.
Look how different these responses are!! A little extreme for the sake of example but woah. Depending on the day, I could fall into each thought pattern. And I can definitely think of a friend for each thought pattern. I do not know, with this example, which one is correct. If the action ends up being unproductive or harmful, we might need to examine a change of thought. Each Thursday, I will provide exercises to navigating the thoughts that might get us stuck!