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  • Writer's pictureMindMoxieMama

Kind words are like honey–sweet to the soul and healthy for the body Proverbs: 16:24

Updated: Nov 13, 2019

kindness

[ˈkīn(d)nəs]

NOUN

kindnesses (plural noun)

1. the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

"he thanked them for their kindness and support"

synonyms:

[more]

antonyms:

2. a kind act.

"it is a kindness I shall never forget"

synonyms:

kind act · good deed · act of kindness · good turn · favor · act of assistance · service · help · aid



 

Loving kindness is defined in English dictionaries as a feeling of benevolent affection. But in Buddhism, loving kindness (in Pali, Metta; in Sanskrit, Maitri) is thought of as a mental state or attitude, cultivated and maintained by practice. This cultivation of loving kindness is an essential part of Buddhism.


Or if you are looking for a scientific description:





Today is World Kindness Day but everyday, I feel the message we send to each other is simply “Be Kind”. And I don’t feel people argue that. But after awhile, it loses its meaning. What does it mean to be kind? What does it take?



 



Let’s break it down: What is kindness?

1. The Quality of Being Friendly

Acts 28:2 ESV / 108

The native people showed us unusual kindness, for they kindled a fire and welcomed us all, because it had begun to rain and was cold.


Make others feel welcome. Say hello. Smile. Ask how their day was. Offer warmth, comfort, safety. I don’t think there are disqualifiers as to who receives this kindness.


Loving-kindness meditation (metta) challenges us to send love and compassion to the difficult people in our lives, including ourselves.


Receivers can be annoying co-workers, rude customers, arrogant acquaintances, friends, loved ones. We often interchange "kind" with "people pleasing" or "nice". You are not committing to anything. You are not agreeing with everything. You are simply being friendly and kind.



2. The Quality of Being Generous

The first thing that comes to mind is monetary giving. But generosity can be giving your time, giving you ear to listen, giving your space.

I see this all around. And what’s beautiful, is when you do not know who the “giver” is. That shows lack of self-interest and a genuine desire for the welfare and happiness of others.


The Theravadin scholar Acharya Buddharakkhita said of Metta,

"The Pali word metta is a multi-significant term meaning loving-kindness, friendliness, goodwill, benevolence, fellowship, amity, concord, inoffensiveness and non-violence. The Pali commentators define metta as the strong wish for the welfare and happiness of others (parahita-parasukha-kamana). ... True metta is devoid of self-interest. It evokes within a warm-hearted feeling of fellowship, sympathy and love, which grows boundless with practice and overcomes all social, religious, racial, political and economic barriers. Metta is indeed a universal, unselfish and all-embracing love."





“All of us, at some time or other, need help. Whether we’re giving or receiving help, each one of us has something valuable to bring to this world. That’s one of the things that connects us as neighbors—in our own way, each one of us is a giver and a receiver.” Mr Rogers


HERE ARE SOME OBSERVATIONS OF SELF-LESS GENEROSITY:

  • I have co-workers who leave food on the community table almost daily and I never know who brings it.

  • I have been given a free coffee as an act of the pay it forward movement while in line for Starbucks more than once.

  • My church has a benevolent fund to collect money for families and individual who may be struggling financially.

  • I see neighbors plow each others driveways.

  • I have friends offer their homes with hospitality and grace.


3. The Quality of Being Considerate


So the saying “Treat others how you want to be treated” needs to change to “Treat others how they want to be treated”. This takes effort, understanding, and consideration for other peoples needs.


Consider the struggle that others may have gone through before acting or responding to them.




4. A Kind Act





"I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said 'yes,' when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to somebody else." Mr Rogers





Luke 6:35 ESV / 1,019

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil










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